For me, understanding my fear and anxiety was very difficult and lonely. I had grown up "normal"; the anxiety didn't kick in until I was 19 or 20 years old.

Through counseling and journaling, I began to change my perspective and view myself in the "third person"—like astral projecting out of my body and looking in at myself from a window outside the house. But that being outside didn't carry an ego; it only wanted truth and honesty. It also didn't carry the perspective or lens of other beings (Non-Duality).

I had to become the observer of my own life, looking at my actions, mechanisms, behaviors, thought patterns, and mannerisms. I started questioning myself and why I did the things I did, which was unusual, as I had been an observer of the outside world since I was a child. For me, this was how I came to understand it best in my own words. I hope it can help you too.

Everything outside of us—our bodies and minds—is our "external" world. If one wants to heal, they must first begin with their "internal" world.

Internal: We must align with the realization that we are all the same, but we associate with our pain and emotions differently. Because we all experience life's journey within our own perception—and only you have experienced your specific perception—we all process or deal with our pain differently: through drinking, lust, reading, watching TV, gaming, substances, running, driving, talking, etc.

We cover up our pain as fear throws us in the opposite direction as a "safety mechanism." But it is that pain we must look into; it's the safety mechanism we must examine and reverse-engineer into the past, asking our younger selves why we placed it there, as today it no longer serves us as it once did.

Our safety mechanisms once helped us in certain situations and environments, but if we develop too many and don't understand why we create them, they begin to get buried in the subconscious and multiply. Creating too many of these mechanisms begins to fuel our sensitivity and affect the nervous system.

Anxiety is fueled by our own sensory system. We don't know why we feel this way, and we don't ask ourselves why. We begin to feel isolated, as if no one else is feeling the same thing, but truthfully, it is the fear and safety mechanisms that prevent us from expressing our feelings (a blocked throat chakra).

We feel that because our problems aren’t external and cannot be visually seen by others, they are not valid or true, or we believe that we are the only ones feeling this way. This stems from a fear of isolation, a fear of rejection, a fear of not being good enough, a fear that if you open up no one will understand, or an abandonment wound—the belief that they will just get up and leave. It is all a self-sabotaging belief system.

Why do we self-sabotage? Because when you self-sabotage, you already know the outcome, it is the self that gets hurt. It is like playing the same video game or watching the same series or movie over and over again; you already know the outcome, which brings self comfort because you predict what is going to happen before it occurs. This is a safety mechanism created by the ego. The ego will always choose the known and what brings it comfort. "If you are not changing, you are choosing."

Fear itself is an illusion created by our own minds; we get too comfortable in our minds with our wounded story. False Evidence Appearing Real. It is incredible how the mind can create a situation based purely on an assumption, and then recreate it in the body as heightened fear in response to that very assumption.