Joshua
“Yahweh is salvation”
From severe anxiety and continuous fear that prevented me from getting on buses and trains to leaving friends on nights out in town, only being out for 2 hours. To hiding in work to avoid people, tasks, and accountability. To smoking 30-32 cigarettes a day while working and commuting. I would avoid the Luas at 7 in the morning due to how compact it was and walk an extra 30 minutes to work even if it meant I was late.
To using all sorts of drugs as a form of escapism to help me become more sociable or to even “fit in” with the crowd. To going into the shop to pick up random things I didn't need or want just to fulfil something within me as a form of purchasing power to make myself believe I had some sense of control over my life.
Through counselling, research, podcasts, books, music, and looking at myself from within, I realized that these were all coping mechanisms I created within my subconscious to make myself “feel safe."
Mechanisms I carried with me from childhood to the ages up to even this very moment. All unhealed wounds that caused me to create these safety mechanisms. Through numerous counselling and healing sessions and developed tools, I began to go deeper to heal these past wounds and flip/change the old patterns with new ones that benefited me, filled me up, and actually contributed to my life in a healthy, safe, joyful, and meaningful way.
My healing journey took off after a biofield tuning session, shifted my perspective, awakened and aligned my chakras.
Began to use cannabis as a tool for meditation instead of escapism, junk food, comedy shows, lust and gaming. I began to sit with myself, placing my awareness and focus back onto myself, into the internal and away from the external.
Matthew 6:6 (TLV): "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room; and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, shall reward you."
You cannot heal your external world until you’ve worked on the internal world, i.e., belief system, thought patterns, coping mechanisms, processing of emotions and feelings, self-talk, habits and breath control.
I call this the backwards engineering process, where you go back in time to when and where you began to learn what you were taught and replace it with what you truly know to be or what you will come to know.
This is 'Liberation By Reconnection'.