When I started spending more time alone on a solo journey, I began journaling my experiences. It helped me express everything going on inside my mind, within myself, and around me. It removed all the clutter.

At first, I questioned how it could even help. I found it difficult because I associated putting pen to paper with school work and being back in school. I thought it was stupid and a waste of time. I would tell myself, "What can I even write about? Nothing exciting happens in my life worth writing down." I used to believe that if you had nothing to write about, you weren't doing enough with your life. Because of those school associations, I carried a lot of self-restrictions and limiting beliefs. It took time to acknowledge that this isn't about school. This isn't about being neat and tidy, and it isn't about my work being "good enough" for someone else. It’s about me, my life, and putting down my experiences from within my own perspective.

That shift made me realize that only I have will ever experience my perception of this life time.

Since starting, I have filled over six journals, I'm still writing, and buying more. Most of what I share now comes directly from my journals, broken down into simpler terms for others to understand.

Because I have phonological dyslexia, I’ve always found it difficult to translate the ideas in my head into spoken words. I struggled to display what was in my mind because I’ve always been a visual learner who breaks everything down through visualization. Writing things out has allowed me to break my thoughts down into terms others can understand, essentially inviting them into that visualization.

Journaling is like meditation. You get to remove things from your mind, and when you clear that clutter, you can set an intention for what you actually want—something new, truthful, adventurous, and spontaneous. Because you've created that space, you invite the new in. When you notice your mind becoming clearer firsthand, you begin to become aware of your own awareness, and you redirect it to what you truly thrive for in this life.

phase of becoming isolated. How i began to retreat from the world. Slowly losing friends and going out less. Not losing friends but rather knowing how every night would end up going. zoomed out and noticed repeated outcomes which became very boring and predictable. In the end i was losing was money, sanity, meantal health and avoiding something within me
At the time i wasnt sure why i began to isolate from the world, yet never questiond it as i was aware of the difference in knowing your alone and being alone.

i was asking will i ever find others going throught what i am?
will it be like this for the rest of life?

Seeking something with more depth and added experience to my journey.

School was very difficult because I never fully understood the work. Because I relied so heavily on my visual mind, I would completely dissociate from class. While others were just doodling on the side of their books or copies, I was actively visualizing entire worlds. It was a great tool to have, but I was easily swept away to a different realm if the teacher didn't have my attention or if the curriculum didn't interest me.